It's Not Nagging: Effective Communication is Deliberately Redundant

“I love repeating myself” – said nobody ever.

When asked to repeat ourselves, we seem to fall on a spectrum from “I don’t like it” to “I dread it so much it makes my blood boil”. People generally don’t like repeating themselves.

As software engineers, we run into this far too often. One reason is that we value efficiency, and repetition feels inherently inefficient. The DRY principle in programming also doesn’t help. We’re taught that repetition, at least in code, is a bad practice and can lead to maintenance nightmares.

Yet repetition in communication is not just necessary, it can be the secret ingredient for teaching, driving change, and overall getting things done.

As much as we wish saying something once would be enough, experience shows it rarely is. I learned this the hard way when I first became a Tech Lead at Google. 

Despite giving clear instructions — or so I thought — my team missed important details and failed to complete tasks, resulting in missing deadlines. This wasn’t their fault. It was mine. 

My experience taught me that clear and concise communication is not enough. We also need deliberate redundancy.

Let's look at why needing to repeat ourselves feels so unpleasant

• We become impatient and frustrated when our message doesn’t get across the first time

• We fear others will see us as nagging or micromanaging, so we under-communicate

• We might view it as an insult — is the listener even paying attention?

Yet, there are good reasons why repetition is necessary

First, our brains need exposure to a message multiple times to truly absorb it. Marketing folks know it. "The Rule of 7" states that a customer needs to hear a message at least seven times before they act on it.

Second, we are constantly bombarded with information. Some of it will be remembered, and some will not. Repetition is crucial to ensure important details don’t slip through the cracks.

Third, repetition plays a key part in learning. What is repeated is remembered. You can strategically use redundancy in communication to reinforce a message if you want people to remember it.

Organizational psychologist and bestselling author Adam Grant sums it up well:

“Great communication is like a song. It isn’t enough to hear it once. You don’t know the melody until you hear it multiple times. You don’t know the chorus by heart until you’ve repeated it many times.” - Adam Grant

So, instead of getting triggered, take a deep breath and remind yourself that repetition is normal and necessary. You can think of it as a useful tool for getting things done.

To avoid sounding like a broken record, picking the right time and place to use redundancy is key. 

Here’s how and when to use redundancy deliberately to get your message across:

• If you’re teaching or presenting, insert checkpoints: “So far, we discussed X and Y; next is Z.” and summarize the takeaways

• Expect to ask people at least twice for what you need and factor that into your timelines.

• Set up automated reminders or send periodic messages about deadlines to keep critical items top of mind.

• When conveying instructions, use multiple communication channels. Say it to them AND follow up with email or Slack messages.

• Ask folks to summarize what they heard to reinforce the message and clarify misunderstandings right away

• When it comes to adopting new behaviors or cultural changes, anticipate multiple repetitions of the same message to make it stick.

More than a communication tool, deliberate redundancy is key for effective leadership.

So in communication, DRY should be Do Repeat Yourself. It’s a good thing.

Until next time,
Your Caring Techie

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In less than 24hrs we close the doors for the summer cohort of my course on influencing without authority in engineering teams. We start on June 18th. Join folks from Google, Meta, Block, and more. It’s already an amazing cohort and I’m so excited to meet everyone!

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