What High Performers Know About Doing Hard Things
The mindset, habits, and brain science behind pushing through
Imagine this:
You finally have some free time. No meetings, no urgent fires.
You could finally update your brag doc, add those missing tests, improve that dashboard, fix those alerts, take that course, or read that book. Or — if you’re an engineering manager — you could, document your team norms, give that difficult feedback you’ve been pushing off, or finally reach out to that peer you’ve been meaning to build a better relationship with.
You know all of this pays off. But in the moment? You’d rather do anything else.
We all do this to a certain degree: avoiding the things we don’t like, even when they’re good for us.
In today’s article, we’ll explore:
Why we avoid difficult tasks
What happens in our brain when we push through resistance
How high performers get things done (especially when they don’t feel like it)
And how to tell when a hard thing isn’t worth doing at all
Why do we avoid doing things?
Even when something is objectively good for us, our brain loves to push it off. Why?
It’s not urgent - No one is breathing down your neck.
It feels too big - Overwhelming tasks are easier to delay.
It’s tedious - It’s dull. Repetitive. Boring.
It’s uncomfortable - We don’t know what to expect.
It’s not immediately rewarding - It’ll pay off later, but right now it just feels like extra effort.
All of this is completely normal. Our brains are designed to avoid effort and discomfort. To understand what’s really going on, we need to look at what happens in the brain when we push through.
The neuroscience of doing hard things
Scientists have found that pushing through resistance strengthens a part of the brain called the anterior mid-cingulate cortex. This region is bigger in people who consistently challenge themselves—especially by doing the things they don’t want to do.
So every time you push through the mental resistance—whether it’s picking up that task, writing the doc, or having the tough 1:1—you’re literally rewiring your brain to get better at doing hard things.
Discomfort = Growth
Comfort never made anyone better. The moments that shape our careers—the big leaps, the breakthroughs, the things we’re proud of—always come from doing something hard.
Like any muscle, mental toughness is built through reps—not one big act of discipline, but thousands of small moments where you show up and do the work, despite resistance.
Growth almost always comes with growing pains.
What high performers do differently
High performers don’t always feel motivated either. They’re not superhumans. They just accept that doing hard things is part of the deal—and they don’t waste energy negotiating themselves out of it.
Sometimes they rely on discipline, but when that’s not enough, they use tricks:
Strategic procrastination – aka setting a deadline for when you’ll stop procrastinating. Until then, enjoy the dilly-dallying.
Change of scenery – Coffee shop, new room, different vibe.
Bribing themselves – Treat themselves with a reward at the end.
Picture failure – Not in a doom-spiral way—but they imagine the cost of not doing the thing. Missed opportunity. Broken trust. A mess they’ll have to clean up later.
External commitment – They create external accountability by setting a public deadline for themselves: “I’m going to finish this by 3pm.”
Do something small – and lower the activation energy (see next section).
The difference isn’t willpower—it’s systems. High performers build habits and environments that help them show up anyway.
And every time they do, they do something more than checking a task off their list: they build resilience.
Lowering the activation energy
Most tasks aren’t hard once you’re already doing them. The hard part is starting.
That’s activation energy—the mental effort required to push yourself into action.
If it’s working out, commit to just five minutes.
If it’s a daunting task at work, set a 15-minute timer and start.
If it’s writing a doc, just draft the first sentence.
Once you begin, momentum will carry you forward.
Not all hard things are worth doing
Not every hard thing is worth doing.
Before you force yourself to power through, pause for a second. Is this task actually necessary? Can you script it once instead of doing it manually every time? Can someone else take it on—someone who has context or even enjoys it? Or maybe the task does need to happen, just not as often, or not with this level of polish.
Discipline is great. But discernment is better.
Why this matters at work—especially now
Right now, tech feels more demanding than ever. The engineers and leaders who will thrive in this new reality are the ones who can push through resistance, who don’t wait for perfect conditions but take action despite them.
Your career won’t be defined by the easy days. It will be defined by the hard ones. How often you show up and do the hard thing anyway.
So, what’s the thing you don’t want to do today?
Go do it.
Until next time,
Irina
Did you enjoy this article? Hit the ❤️ button or share it with a friend or coworker. 🙏🏻
Wanting to learn more? Here are 3 ways I can help:
1-1 coaching - For more info email me at thecaringtechie@gmail.com or DM me!
Join the next cohort of my course “Impact through Influence in Engineering Teams”.
Book a one-hour call where we can tackle your most pressing issues.
You hit the nail on the head. The feeling of having accomplished something you once believed impossible is unmatched
Tough experiences shape the wisdom that makes success possible.