How Managers Build (or Break) Their Team’s Self-Confidence
The one thing usually missed in managing performance.
As a manager, I’ve had reports who were struggling, despite my trying to set them up for success. I would assign them work, agree on how to approach the problem, and let them run with it. Yet they would still be second-guessing themselves, get stuck in analysis paralysis, and miss expectations.
In maybe 70% of those cases, the root issue wasn’t skill, it was a lack of self-confidence! Once I figured that out, I started acting differently: giving them space to make calls, backing them in front of others, and reinforcing their judgment. Over time, they trusted themselves more and started meeting and eventually exceeding my expectations.
You might think, well, confidence is a personal trait: you either have it or you don’t. And sure, there’s truth to that. But I’ve seen enough to believe this: managers can build confidence, and they can shatter it. Sometimes, without even noticing.
Confidence is built through belief and action. As a manager, you have more influence over both than you might realize. You can inspire belief by cheering people on, and you can create the conditions for action that prove that belief true. People need to experience through their own work that they are capable → and that’s where real confidence is born.
This article is about a key leadership skill that directly drives performance: knowing how to avoid the traps that undermine your team’s confidence, and learning how to build it instead.
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Now back to our article!
What makes people doubt themselves at work
Most managers don’t go around thinking, How can I make my team feel unsure of themselves today? But it happens anyway, usually in subtle, well-intentioned ways, such as:
Micromanaging. Constant check-ins or corrections send the message “I don’t trust you to handle this.”. This erodes trust faster than anything. It’s hard to trust yourself when your manager doesn’t.
Public criticism, even if framed as feedback. When criticism happens in front of others, it sounds more like exposure, rather than guidance. It creates shame, which is the feeling that “something is wrong with me” rather than “I did something wrong.” Shame shuts people down. Instead of learning, they feel insecure and unsafe. It’s the wrong timing for growth and the perfect setup for doubt.
Silence. A lack of feedback rarely feels neutral. Most people fill the gap with self-doubt: “No news probably means I’m underperforming.”
Jumping in to help too fast. Struggles aren’t necessarily failures but they are part of learning. When managers step in immediately, people don’t get the chance to work through challenges themselves. What they internalize isn’t “I’m supported” but “I can’t handle doing this on my own.”
Inconsistent expectations. When the goal post keeps moving, people can’t enjoy the cycle of success. Instead of building confidence from setting and hitting clear goals, they feel like no matter how hard they work, success is still out of reach.
Most of this happens without bad intent. Managers are usually trying to help, but the impact can be the opposite. Before labeling someone as an underperformer, it’s worth asking: do they actually lack the skills, or do they just lack the confidence? Often, trying a few simple changes in how you respond can make the difference.
The good news: building confidence isn’t complicated
You don’t need motivational speeches. What matters are small, consistent interactions that say: You’ve got this. I trust you to figure it out. I’m here if you need me.
Each of the pitfalls mentioned previously has an opposite move that builds confidence instead of breaking it:
Criticize in private, praise in public. People remember public moments far longer, use them to anchor pride, not shame. “I want to share this with the team. You were instrumental in handling yesterday’s incident, thank you!”
Give people autonomy. Set guardrails, then step back. The act of struggling through and succeeding on their own is where confidence grows. “Here’s the outcome we need. I trust you to decide how to get there. I’m here if you need me.”
Ask before jumping in. Think like a coach. The goal isn’t to solve the problem for them, but to help them build the muscle of solving it themselves. “What options have you considered so far?” “What’s your next step?”
Define what good looks like. Clarity and consistency in standards make it easier for people to measure their own progress. “For this project, ‘done’ means the code is reviewed, tested, and documented. Let’s keep that as our bar.”
Replace silence with signals. Most people assume the worst if they hear nothing; small acknowledgments can go a long way. “You’re on the right track, keep going.”
In addition to that, you can reinforce confidence through how you communicate:
Encouragement. Hearing it matters, even when you think it’s obvious. Reassurance spoken out loud helps counteract the doubts in their head. “I believe in you.”
Consultation. Asking for input shows that their perspective is valued, and it’s one of the most effective ways of influence. “What do you think we should do?”
Introspection. Helping them name their own doubts makes it easier to move past them. “What’s making you second-guess yourself?”
And here’s the key: even if you think you’ve already said it once, or already tried, say it again. Try repeatedly until it sticks. Confidence takes time to build with consistent reinforcement. Sometimes you’ll need to repeat the same encouragement or reassurance ten times before it lands. That’s normal.
Confidence isn’t in the job description, but it should be part of the work. What will you do differently tomorrow to help your team believe in themselves?
Until next time,
Irina
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