How to Cultivate Clarity and Kindness in Your Engineering Team

Lessons learned from one of the most painful projects I worked on - The Migration Project

Sep 24, 2024

I often faced unclear situations throughout my career in different Tech jobs - from Software Engineer to Tech Lead Manager.

Sometimes I wasn't sure whether I was working on the right things. Other times, I didn't know if I was doing well or falling short. And other times I wasn’t clear on the goals, priorities, and bigger vision.

As I grew in seniority, I realized I wasn't the only one feeling this way. When I struggled with unclear instructions or expectations, my teammates usually did too.

In my pursuit of clarity, I understood one thing: there is an inextricable link between clarity and kindness, and, as Brené Brown aptly explained “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind”.

Not only that, but I realized providing clarity is part of my job as a kind and thoughtful leader. Once this realization settled in, I felt more confident as a leader and started to:

Talk openly about difficult issues
Give honest feedback
Ask important questions that others were afraid to ask

Today I want to invite you to explore the following questions:

If you claim to be a kind person but fail to provide clarity, are you really as kind as you think?
In what areas of your life or work are you potentially being unclear, and how might that lack of clarity be affecting others?
What more can you do to ensure clarity for those around you?

In today’s article, I’ll be sharing the story of how lack of clarity resulted in one of the most painful projects of my life - The Migration Story.

Then we’ll clarify some things about clarity, discuss how lack of clarity manifests itself at work, and what you can do to provide clarity in engineering teams.

How lack of clarity resulted in one of the most painful projects of my life - The Migration Project

One time, I joined a project midway that didn’t have a clear tech lead—let’s call it The Migration Project.

I thought my role there was temporary. I’d pick up some tasks here and there and help the team deliver the last push. The most senior person on the team seemed to be driving the effort, so I assumed they were the tech lead and had everything under control.

Because roles and expectations weren't clearly defined, there was a misunderstanding. This person thought I was joining as the Tech Lead, but that wasn't the case and was never officially communicated. This confusion happened because no one had clearly explained who was responsible for what on the project.

After a few painful months, this project turned out to be a can of worms. It also took triple the amount of time and delayed other important feature work.

The TL’s frustration— not just with me— was increasing, we could sense his prickliness in most of his interactions. I thought he hated me for some reason he never shared it with me. Only later did I realize the root cause of his resentment: the misunderstanding about role expectations.

We managed to get everything done, and I was so happy to get out of that project because my well-being was starting to take a hit.

All my pain and the team’s frustration could’ve been addressed if we just had an honest conversation regarding expectations. I noticed this lack of clarity but didn’t do anything about it because I wasn’t the tech lead. That was an important lesson for me:

I didn’t need a formal role to ask the questions I needed
If I’m not clear about roles and responsibilities, it’s likely others aren’t either
Sometimes addressing the elephant in the room is my job, and that’s the kindest choice

But first, let’s clarify some things about clarity (see what I did there :) ).

Clarifying some things about clarity

1. Needing & seeking clarity is human

Without clarity, we're confused, anxious, distrustful, and stressed. We don't know what we should focus on, or what actions to take. We spin around directionless and feel drained.

It is human nature to seek clarity. We are wired to understand our environment and our place in it, which is why a lack of clarity can be so detrimental to our well-being and performance.

2. Seeking clarity & embracing uncertainty are not mutually exclusive

Building software products is inherently uncertain. We don’t always know how users will interact with our products, or whether it will hit the mark. To build software, we often have to try new things, experiment, and evolve with the market.

You can seek clarity while still being comfortable navigating uncertainty.

Clarity means understanding the known facts and situation, not predicting the future with certainty. It's about gathering and accessing all the available information. The point is to find what you know, what you don't, and what the next decision should be.

3. It is unkind to withhold clarity from those seeking it

Withholding clarity when someone asks for it isn’t just frustrating—it’s unkind.

When people seek clarity, they’re trying to understand the situation better, do their job right, or make good decisions. If you hold back the information they need, you’re setting them up to struggle unnecessarily.

4. Not setting clear expectations is unkind

“An unarticulated expectation is a disappointment guaranteed.”

Everyone deserves to know what they’re evaluated against and what’s expected of them. How else would they be able to get a sense of whether they’re growing or not meeting expectations?

Same as the previous point: not setting clear expectations is setting people up for unnecessary struggle, which is ultimately unkind.

5. Clarity means finding and speaking the truth

Clarity means distilling information to its essence and presenting it straightforwardly. It's about getting to the heart of the matter. When we seek clarity, we're not just looking for information, but for understanding and actionable insights.

Clarity involves avoiding ambiguous language, half-truths, or sugarcoating. Speaking the truth is a sign of respect for others' intelligence and time. And it’s the kindest action because it allows others to make informed decisions and take appropriate actions.

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How does lack of clarity manifest itself at work?

If all this so far sounds too abstract, let’s get more specific. Here is an incomplete list of ways in which a lack of clarity can manifest itself in engineering teams:

When people aren’t sure what they should be doing, they may step on each other’s toes, duplicate efforts, or miss important details
The team misses deadlines or drops the ball on important work
Important work doesn’t get done, while unimportant work does
Misunderstandings and miscommunication happen often
Some people might feel like they’re drowning in work, while others seem to be not doing nearly enough
There is a palpable drop in the levels of energy and motivation of the team
Frustration builds up, and there is tension between teammates
When people don’t know what’s expected of them, they also get surprised by feedback, or do not get promoted
You waste time figuring out what’s supposed to be done or redoing work
No one knows who’s accountable, making fair performance management practically impossible

Over time, the effect compounds creating a dysfunctional culture that lacks accountability and trust.

Lack of clarity wastes everyone's time, and saying you're too busy to clarify things is just shooting yourself in the foot. Taking a moment to clear things up saves you from headaches down the road - it prevents mix-ups, mistakes, and having to redo work.

"If you don’t have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over?" – John Wooden

Providing clarity in engineering teams

If you’re an Engineering Manager, Tech Lead, or anything senior and above, you play a role in driving projects to success. You should look at ensuring clarity for your team as part of your job.

So how do you actually achieve this? Here are some ideas.

Define roles and responsibilities: Articulate how you’re going to work together as a team. Each team member should know what’s expected of them.
Define owners and POCs (point of contact): Communicate who’s working on what. Pick people who can answer questions and provide updates. This is especially important for cross-functional collaboration.
Define the process you’re going to use: Is it agile? is it an agile-like? Is it something else? Do you want docs or bug requests to follow a template? Do you need people to get on an on-call rotation? Spell it out so everyone knows.
Create predictability: When things are predictable, people know what to expect. This way, your team won’t be wondering what’s coming or if things are going to change last minute.
Define what success looks like: Be specific about what “done” means for a task or project, so there’s no guessing. Aim to prevent guesswork as much as possible.
Put things in writing: Even though it might take some extra minutes, having things in writing can help avoid hearsay and misinformation.
Provide feedback early and often: Don’t wait until the end of a project or performance evaluation cycle to give feedback. Casual, regular, clear feedback needs to become a habit.
Create checkpoints: Define milestones and have regular check-ins to make sure everyone is still aligned. Course correct if needed.
Be transparent about decisions: Don’t just share your decisions, but also your thought process behind them.
Share updates as soon as possible: Make sure the team can operate with the most up-to-date information.
Never shove things under the rug: Especially issues. Be open to having difficult conversations about things that didn’t pan out as expected.

And finally, a note from today’s sponsor - All Quiet:

Every team has to deal with those annoying or dreaded tasks, like making sure everything is working and critical issues are also detected on weekends or late at night. Being kind would mean addressing it head-on by creating a fair, transparent on-call schedule. That way, you can consider everyone’s personal situations—some people are night owls, others are early risers, and some have family commitments. It’s about making sure the load is shared in a way that works for the whole team.