Far from being an elusive art reserved for the charismatic few, influence is, in fact, a teachable and learnable skill. Yes, you heard that right! Just like learning a programming language, mastering the art of influence is about understanding its principles and practicing them diligently.
But why do some people seem to naturally excel at influencing others, while some struggle, often unknowingly sabotaging their own efforts? The answer most likely lies not in inherent charisma (or “rizz” like Gen Z likes to call it) but in their approach and mindset.
In my previous article, we talked about why influence without authority is a vital skill no matter what role you’re in. This week we’re tackling the most common mistakes I see people making when trying to influence others, and what to do instead.
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We just wrapped up the first and second cohorts of my course “Impact through Influence in Engineering Teams”. Here is the last opportunity to join us: Cohort 3 - GMT friendly: Mar 20—Apr 2, 2024, classes start at 8 am PST Wednesday/Friday
Now, back to the article. If you want to build influence and become more influential, try to avoid these common pitfalls. Before we dive into each of them, here is a quick overview:
Mistake #1: Trying to influence before having credibility
Mistake #2: Not taking timing and context into account (preview)
🔒 Mistake #3: (only available for paid subscribers)
🔒 Mistake #4: (only available for paid subscribers)
🔒 Mistake #5: (only available for paid subscribers)
If you want to learn more, keep reading!
Mistake #1: Trying to influence before having credibility
I was talking to a friend the other day and she was happy to share with me some good news: the ideas she unsuccessfully first pitched 2 years ago are now actually a significant part of the roadmap. When asked what made the difference, she simply said: “I showed that I can get things done. By building a reputation, I earned their trust”.
The reality is you need to earn your right to influence someone. It doesn’t matter if you say the right words if the other person isn’t open to listening to you. And why should they listen to you if they don’t know you? If you haven’t earned people’s trust yet, it means you don’t have credibility yet. Without credibility, everything is slower and more frustrating, and influencing seems like an uphill battle.
To build credibility, focus on acting with integrity, positioning yourself as a subject matter expert, and building a track record of results.
Mistake #2: Not taking timing and context into account
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