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Jade Wilson's avatar

Love the article, I especially liked the points about earning your right to influence. Thanks for the great read.

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Irina Stanescu's avatar

Thanks Jade! I'm glad you found it insightful. 🙏

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Chris Hurst's avatar

Awesome

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SWE's avatar

Loved all 5 points.

Points 2, 3, and 3 are very common situations and can be relatively easy avoided.

Points 1 and 5, building credibility and relationships are essential for influence.

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Irina Stanescu's avatar

Thanks Eugene! The way I see it is 2,3 and 4 are things you can start applying right away, whereas 1&5 take more time.

Glad you enjoyed the article!

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Andreea Ratiu's avatar

Love the article. I was guilty of mistake number 3 a lot - it came from my SRE background, where the main thing was to thing about how things can go wrong. I had the revelation during a leadership class that I also need to propose something when saying no.

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Irina Stanescu's avatar

Haha, oh yes, SREs are notorious for saying no :) but I understand where they're coming from, it's not their job to come up with solutions. It just doesn't scale.

I'm glad you were able to change the habit!

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Josh at Business Leader Daily's avatar

Great post! As a leader, you always have to prioritize building relationships. Not just when you want something!

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Irina Stanescu's avatar

YES 💯 Thank you!! I already feel so repetitive saying this exact thing! 😊

Also, this applies beyond leaders, ICs need to build relationships too.

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Josh at Business Leader Daily's avatar

Great point. No matter your role and level, building relationships is key. It is worth repeating since it is so important!

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Akos Komuves's avatar

> To build credibility, focus on acting with integrity, positioning yourself as a subject matter expert, and building a track record of results.

Love this. You answered perfectly what people lack, for example, in the content creator world, when they ask why my stuff doesn't work if it's pretty much the same as the stuff X Y post - sometimes it comes down to giving people hard evidence why they should listen to you compared to someone else. Your writing can be impeccable, and advices applicable, but sometimes it comes down to your background and how you promote yourself.

Thanks, Irina!

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Irina Stanescu's avatar

Well said! I've seen many people (and I've made this mistake myself) assuming the advice itself would just stand on its own, and the reality is that it doesn't, and it's not people's fault for not wanting the advice.

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Chris Hurst's avatar

Interesting

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Irina Stanescu's avatar

Thank you Chris!

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Jordan Cutler's avatar

This article is top notch!!

Many times we get caught up in how exactly to phrase things to "influence" or use psychology, but we forget about the relationship piece to it and working collaboratively on something.

Love the lessons here. Thanks for sharing, Irina

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Irina Stanescu's avatar

Thanks Jordan! If people take away one thing, it should be this: Relationships are indeed the center of influence, everything else is built on top.

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Sagar Gandhi's avatar

An excellent read with relatable common pitfalls I had encountered in influencing others.

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Irina Stanescu's avatar

Glad it resonated Sagar!

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Basma Taha's avatar

Love this one!

I particularly like #3 An incomplete influence goal.

I find it very important to mention why you don't like something or challenging it.

The why is very important to convince others.

If you don't let them know why it can be bad for them too, they won't listen carefully to your opinion.

And, you can't blame them!

Thanks for sharing, Irina!

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Irina Stanescu's avatar

It took me a while to figure this one out too. There are studies that show how including a "why" even if basic, increases the likelihood to get to "yes".

And you're absolutely right. We can't blame people for not listening to us if we haven't delivered a compelling message. We should revisit our message and try again!

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